Sunday, July 13, 2014

Vizzini's Story - Male POV

A great perspective from the POV of a male going through issues of infertility, etc. 
Thank you, Vizzini. 


Since my wife was not pregnant after a year and half of not-preventing, I decided to get checked.  (It’s easiest to check the man first).  I went to the Presbyterian hospital where they put me in a room and asked me to ejaculate in a cup.  They had a porno playing of a huge ugly old black dude pounding a cute little young white girl.  That just didn't do it for me.  I was able to get one out anyway, but it was weak.  I wasn't surprised when the results came back showing a low sperm count. 

After a few weeks of wondering if I should try again without the Presbyterian porno, I setup an appointment with a urologist.  He pointed out a couple spots in my scrotum that my primary care physician said was “just fine” several years earlier.  He called it “varicocele”, otherwise known as varicose veins in my scrotum.  From what I understand, the veins just above my pubic area don’t have adequate valves to prevent a back-flow of blood.  It drains down into my testicles, and overheats my sperm.  My blood kills my sperm.  He asked for a second semen sample.  I worked it out at home without the Presbyterian porno and delivered way above normal volume, I’m proud to say.  However, the sperm count was still just as low.

I’m scheduled for surgery in a few weeks.  The doc will simply crimp and cut the veins causing the problem.  My odds of impregnating my wife are expected to go up from less than 5% to about 70%.  Plans and progress are encouraging.  I wish I had gotten checked a lot earlier. 

My wife went ahead and got checked too.  She recently started bleeding all the time whether or not she was on her period.  I had a hard time convincing her that I was not grossed out by the blood.  Really, I’m not. My wife is super sexy even if she doesn't feel like it.  She started crying one day and said between sobs, “what’s wrong with me”?  It turns out that she has a blocked fallopian tube and a bunch of polyps in her uterus which often causes infertility.  She too is scheduled for surgery in a few weeks whereby her polyps will be removed and biopsied.   There is a good chance that the surgery will clear up the other fallopian tube, but having just one tube is enough either way.  Her doc said it is a “perfect” fallopian tube. 

The combination of her polyps and my varicocele has inspired us to consider jumping straight to in-vitro after her surgery.  For the time being, we decided that we will both get surgery and decide whether or not to do in-vitro sometime after the surgeries.  (By the way, in-vitro costs $13k per try with no guarantees).
So, here we are.  I’ve wanted to have a large family since I was 20 and find myself approaching my mid-thirties with more ambiguity than certainty.  I wouldn't quite say I’m devastated by all this, but I am getting a bit anxious.  My primary fantasy through most of my life is to have a family.  I find a great deal of comfort in the steps we are taking.  Getting pregnant is supposed to be so easy that we must proactively prevent it until it’s time to stop preventing.  Well, it’s not easy for my wife and me.  It’s not impossible either. 

In the mean-time I’m addressing my varicocele-induced low testosterone with Tamoxifen, a breast cancer medication that gives me night sweats.  Who would have thought I’d end up taking boob medicine for low testosterone and suffering menopause symptoms?  The pink website of Susan G Komen has been helpful for me to understand the side effects. 

I think this an important blog since miscarriages and infertility often come along with existential feelings of “what’s wrong with me”? My wife asked that specific question in tears and I feel the need to let perfect strangers know I’m good in the size and performance department.  Reproducing is one of the biggest biological goals of life.  It’s only natural that it’s an important subject to discuss, and it’s only natural that it inspires some of the strongest feelings possible. 

No comments:

Post a Comment